The Intimacy of Surprise

I love, love, love surprises; good surprises, that is.  But, alas, they happen to me far too infrequently...  And I must say, as I look back, a surprise absolutely brings me to a place of intimacy with the bearer of this lovely gift.  How so?

1. A surprise is a tangible representation that the "surpriser" has been positively thinking of and spending time planning a pleasurable experience for the "surprisee."
2. There is something childlike about receiving a surprise, play is involved.  There is a giddiness upon receipt, or, if the surprise is anticipated but not known, upon anticipation.
3. The "surpriser" is putting him or herself in a bit of a position of vulnerability in this offering of a gift; "will my anticipated recipient appreciate my offering," "how will he/she see me in light of this offering."
4. As a recipient, you are caught off guard without time to hold up any shield you might otherwise brandish, and you are, thus, ripe to be open to the deliciousness of intimacy.
5. If you regularly receive surprises by some wonderful gift-giver, it strengthens your bond, and you thus become inclined to positive inclination toward your "surpriser."  It is almost as if a light shines on this oh so considerate admirer because of this kindness that comes so regularly but at uncertain intervals.

 So I've convinced you, and you are eager to enhance your intimacy with the recipient of your affections, but how might you go about it in a sustainable way?  Afterall, sustainable is quite important if you are to do it with any regularity at all.

1. It need not be extravagant or expensive.  One day bring home some freshly picked wild flowers.  Another, offer a massage after your beloved has had a difficult day. Play a game of blindfold sensuism by blindfolding your partner and having him or her guess the type of flavors, scents or touches you offer.  Write a beautiful poem celebrating your love.
2. It need not be frequent.  Once a week, every other week, once a month is great.  But to maintain the element of surprise, it should be at variable intervals.
3. Consider what your "surprisee" likes.  Don't come home with tickets for the baseball game when you know your beloved adores the opera.
4. Make it whimsical.  Hearken your lover back to the carefree moments of childhood which so often feel so long ago.
5. Be committed.  If you start this worthy endeavor, don't allow yourself to let it fall away after a few months.  This will likely set you and your beloved up for disappointment after something beautiful has faded away.